Gayer, Higher, Stronger

And the sequel to Shell Game is out, and I am a trifle verklempt.  I make no bones about the fact that Shell Game and now Beggar's Flip are very, very silly books about lesbian pirates who happen to like to tie each other up because Reasons.  But that doesn't stop Lynn and Darren's world from being very precious to me.  Plus, there were bits of Beggar's Flip that were a challenge to write.  There's angst in dem der hills.
Angst angst piratey angst

People sometimes label my books as "humour" and are surprised to find so much angst or darkness in them- or they find it jarring to have humour in a book with dark subject matter.  Me, I am a firm believer that life is hilarious, beautiful, amazing, cruel, and brutal all at once, and that you can't stop laughing at the ridiculousness. 

My day job brings me into contact with some rather dark subject matter on a regular basis.  All of my co-workers who deal with the same black misery share my slightly screwy sense of humour. We rely on each other, and we find the brightness, and we treasure the beauty, and we never stop laughing at the silliness of it all.

If you give my silly pirate books a chance, I hope they give you a few laughs too, as well as giving your angst muscles a healthy workout. 



I am so good at self-care



The "B" is for "Book" and the "F" is for "Fuckin' 'ell, a book!"All right, all right, I haven't been the most faithful correspondent of late.  I won't blame you if you assumed that that I was gone for good.  I just hope that you envisioned a suitable end for me.  Stranded on the planet Mercury, maybe, or eaten by a venomous slugbeast thing.  Or maybe you figured that I finally made one too many bad jokes about Her Majesty the Queen, and was mauled to death by her attack corgis.

But in actual fact, I've been on a secret mission of the utmost importance.  I'm not allowed to reveal any details- suffice it to say, someone very evil is down to his last Horcrux.  (We're pretty sure it's his toupee.)

But have I been writing, in my off hours, when I haven't been fighting back against the forces of Twitter-based fascism, or being bent over a desk by Her Majesty the Queen and told what a very bad lawyer I've been?  Or have I aged and seasoned, like...well, not like wine, but maybe like cheese, and decided that there are more productive ways to spend my time than writing many many words about gay pirates?

HA HA HA of course not.  No, my disease is worse than ever, and my doctors have despaired of a cure.  Beggar's Flip, the sequel to Shell Game, will be out this summer, published by the spiffy folks over at Bedazzled Ink Press.  This is the continuing story of Darren- socially awkward noblewoman turned pirate queen- and Lynn- sorta kinda Darren's slave girl, sorta kinda Darren's life coach, and altogether the bossiest backstreet driver that ever set foot on a pirate ship.  The gay is radioactive, the snark is weapons-grade, and pretty much I do not know what I am doing with my life.  But I hope that you like it. 

And now, back to the workshop of the magical lesbian dwarf blacksmith who is forging me a double-headed axe blade out of the heart of a very gay star.  One more Horcrux to go. 



Observe!  It is Pink Crayon Dragon.  Together, let us gaze upon his splendour.

Some might comment that Pink Crayon Dragon's head looks much like a sock puppet crafted by a kindergartener of average ability.  Pink Crayon Dragon is unmoved by such observations.  Pink Crayon Dragon does not give a shit.  Pink Crayon Dragon is secure in his dragoninity.  He does not need any outside endorsements to maintain a positive body image.

Pink Crayon Dragon suffers no spasm of insecurity because of his colour.  If other dragons are so juvenile as to shout homophobic taunts, this will merely reinforce Pink Crayon Dragon's conviction that he is right to be spending most of his time with panda bears.  The panda bears just get him, you know?

Pink Crayon Dragon was born "Maurice," but is thinking of having his name changed to "Martha."  No, Pink Crayon Dragon is not transitioning.  Pink Crayon Dragon merely scorns your artificial, culturally-enforced binaries.  Don't you try to pigeonhole him.

In other news, I'm back.  How have you been?



Things are still pretty freaky down here in the law mines, but I have bribed a passing pigeon to bring you this note from my cell.  Lesbian romance writer and generally swell person A.J. Adaire invited me to come to her website and talk too much about myself.  Can I pass up an offer like that?  I cannot.

The interview is here.  You should go and read it!  We touch on a number of subjects including bomb-making and nuclear survival.  Also girls who kiss, of course, because, well, come on.

So: yes.  Go hang out with AJ for a bit.  She is good people.  Go for the nuclear apocalypse, stay for the pie.

Edit: Yes, I know, something seems to be up over at AJ's place and the interview isn't reachable at the moment.  I am tentatively hypothesizing that the site got eaten by a camel.  Sorry 'bout that; I'll relink as soon as things get sorted out on that end.