IN WHICH I REASSURE HREDZAK ABOUT MY BOOBS!

One Hredzak has kindly taken the time to repair to Amazon to pan my silly book about bondage pirates.  I am fortunately beyond the point in my life wherein I thought that silly books about bondage pirates were things that needed defending.  They sort of rise and fall on their own innate qualities.  Nor am I going to make a meal out of the fact that Hredzak (Monsieur? Madame? Let's say Monsieur, why not, let's throw a little testosterone around) that Monsieur Hredzak rendered judgment after reading the first chapter.  This be the Internets, and it be a wild frontier where you shouldn't sally out in public if you're not prepared to get your ego bruised.  

Nay nay, I am here for one purpose and one purpose alone.  A mission of mercy, one might say. Monsieur Hredzak, you need not be worried that I suffer in the least from a deficiency of boobs.

I assume that this assurance is necessary based on the following statement in the review:

Perhaps if this author was a big-boobed femme, I mighta enjoyed the kidnapped lead.

I confess that I do not see how an author's boobtaculosity or the lack of it really relates to an enjoyment of a book.  But if that's all that's bothering you, I can save the whole situation right now: I am, and have been from age twelve, rather upsettingly well-endowed.  Many and many a time I have wished that I had the ability to fit myself into a sweater without the assistance of a stretching apparatus and a buttered shoehorn, but such is not the case.  My knockers precede me into a room, in all their splendor.  I burst shirt buttons when I breathe too heavily.  I knock small children unconscious if I swing around too rapidly.  I have got boobs to spare, is what I'm trying to get at.  

Or are you upset that I didn't dwell enough on heaving bosoms and ripping bodices in the chapter you read?  In which case, guilty.  But I did include an actual honest-to-god ripped bodice in part three, out of respect for the fomula, if that makes any difference.  

Right, that's quite enough of that.  Time, I think, for a nice cup of tea.

Different strokes. 

PS- I don't have any drawings of boobs, I'm afraid.  Here, have a bunch of owls for no good reason whatsoever.